Domestic Abuse

What is abusive behaviour? 

When many people think of domestic abuse, they often think of physical acts of violence towards a person.  But is is important to understand that domestic abuse is not limited to physical violence. 

Behaviour is abusive if it consists of any of the following: 

• Physical or sexual abuse 

• Violent or threatening behaviour

• Controlling or coercive behaviour 

• Economic/financial abuse 

• Psychological/emotional abuse 

• Stalking and harassment 

• Digital/Tech abuse 

• Honour based abuse

The behaviour could be a single incident, or many incidents - defined in law as a 'course of conduct'. 

Types of Domestic Abuse:

The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 covers different types of abusive behaviour such as: 

Physical abuse 

Physical abuse can be violent such as hitting, punching, shoving, biting and kicking. Or, it can be the threat of physical violence. It also includes throwing things at you or pushing you. 

Verbal abuse 

Verbal abuse may include repeated yelling and shouting, abusive, insulting, threatening or degrading language, verbal humiliation either in private or in company, being laughed at and being made fun of or discriminating against someone or mocking them. 

Sexual abuse 

Any sexual activity that happens without your full and informed consent. Sex should not make you feel uncomfortable or degraded. Abuse can include: 

• Being pressured into sex, or sexual acts, including with other people 

• Being forced to take part in sexual acts because of threats to others, including children 

• Unwanted sexual contact or demands 

• Forced involvement in making or watching pornography 

• Hurting a victim during sex  

Coercive control 

Coercive control is when someone you are close to repeatedly behaves in a way that makes you feel controlled, dependent, isolated or scared, which can include: 

• Controlling where someone goes, who they see, how they dress, their access to support  

• Controlling their finances 

• Depriving them of food 

• Humiliating them 

• Monitoring their communication/online presence 

• Monitoring their movements 

Economic abuse 

Economic abuse can make a victim economically dependent on the perpetrator, and/or create economic instability, thereby limiting their ability to escape and access safety which can result in a victim staying with a perpetrator and experiencing more abuse and harm. Some examples of this are: 

• Exploiting someone financially 

• Controlling their finances or benefiting from their income or savings  

Emotional and psychological abuse 

Emotional and psychological abuse is the act of repeatedly making someone feel bad, intimidated or scared. This can include threatening behaviour, blackmailing, constantly criticising or checking up on someone, or playing mind games. Psychological abuse is causing fear by intimidation, name calling, swearing or yelling, blaming and guilt tripping. 

Examples include: 

• abusing a position of trust 

• hostile behaviours or silent treatment as part of a pattern of behaviour to make the victim feel fearful 

• being insulting or undermining, including in front of others

• keeping a victim awake/preventing them from sleeping 

• controlling or isolating the victim 

• limiting control over the victim’s own money 

• playing mind games and making the victim doubt judgment 

Think about hotel guests who are having decisions made for them or being spoken for by others. Could they be being controlled, coerced or isolated by the person they are with? 

Stalking and harassment 

Stalking and harassment is the unwanted pursuit of a person where the behaviour causes alarm, distress and fear of physical violence. This can either be directly from the perpetrator of domestic abuse or through friends/ family and associates. 

Examples include: 

• Following a person 

• Contacting or attempting to contact a person by any means (phone calls/letters/ emails) 

• Appearing at their home or place of work including watching or spying

Helping someone who has experienced domestic abuse :

• Ask the person if they would like to move into a private area where they may feel safer.  The person may be feeling very vulnerable, so treat them with respect, care and compassion  

• First response is crucial - reassure the person specialist help is on its way. Some other supportive things to say can be: 

  • ‘Thank you for telling me.’ 

  • ‘I am so sorry you have experienced this. Support is available for you.’ 

  • If they indicate they have been sexually assaulted refer to the guidance on how to support someone who has experienced rape or sexual assault  

  • Never discuss domestic abuse when the person/ people causing harm is there. It is also not safe to talk about domestic abuse has a child over 2 years old with them, as they could repeat back what they hear.  

  • Call police 999 in an emergency.  For non emergency police enquiries call 101

DON’T: 

• Don’t ask for proof of abuse  

• Don't push your opinions on what they should do i.e. to leave the relationship 

• Don’t involve the perpetrator in discussions 

Children and domestic abuse:

Domestic abuse is not limited to adults; studies have shown domestic abuse to be common in teen relationships.  

Think bigger picture: there may be children or other vulnerable people at home living in a domestic abuse situation. 

Children are recognised as “victims” of domestic abuse if they see, hear or experience the effects of abuse.  

If you are worried about a child who lives in the City of London Call: 020 7332 3621 from 9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday or 020 8356 2710 (out of hours) Email: children.duty@cityoflondon.gov.uk

 If you think a child or young person may be in immediate danger, call 999.  Visit the CHSCP Worried About a Child? webpage for further guidance and resources. 

Advice on looking after any forensic evidence 

• Is the suspect still present?

  • If yes – contact police immediately and provide details of where the suspect is and a description of them (if known). Remember domestic abuse is a violent crime.  Do not put yourself in danger!

  • If no – secure the area by either closing the room off or making the area inaccessible to other people. Ask security to guard the room until the police arrive and do not enter.

• Touch nothing, move nothing, keep everything

• Tell the police what you have done when they arrive.

Actions to take

• In an emergency:

  • Act quickly, call 999

  • Ask for an ambulance if the victim is hurt

  • Take responsibility for the person’s safety

• Crime scene preservation:

  • Secure the area/scene

  • Secure access routes

  • Don’t touch or move anything

• Support the victim:

  • People can contact the Victim Support helpline on 08 08 16 89 111

  • The National Domestic Violence Helpline offers support and help with emergency accommodation on 0800 2000 247

Support Services

People experiencing domestic abuse can get support from the National Domestic Violence Helpline (0808 2000 247).   They can also get immediate support by calling the Victim Support Supportline for free on 08 08 16 89 111. They also welcome calls via Relay UK on 18001 08 08 16 89 111. 

Please see Directory of Support Services | Employers' Initiative on Domestic Abuse for a list ​of services and resources around domestic abuse. 

For residents of the City of London the Domestic Abuse Intervention Service (DAIS) is the local domestic abuse support service that you can refer someone to. DAIS provides one to one risk reduction intervention to victims / survivors of domestic abuse living in City and Hackney (aged 16 and over). This service also covers those qualifying for services in the City of London, such as our rough sleeping population.    

Please contact DAIS in the following ways: 

• call 020 8356 4458 or 020 8356 4459 or 0800 056 0905 (free from a landline) 

• Or email da.vawg@hackney.gov.uk

DAIS are open Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm excluding Bank holidays. Find out more information on the City of London Domestic Abuse Support webpage.